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Long before I started radiation, I was warned about the side effects: hair loss, sore throat, skin burns, fatigue.  They told me that these side effects would linger, and perhaps become even more prevalent for a few weeks after I finished treatment.  Radiation has a residual effect on the body.  The more you endure, the stronger the side effects, and the longer they will last.

I had 18 treatments.  My final dose was last Thursday.  Nearly a week later, I am feeling the effects more strongly than ever.  My skin is red and burned in the areas that were treated, which includes my neck, chest and left armpit.  The back of my neck has started to peel.  My armpit is very burned and sore.  I apply a lotion specially made for radiation patients called RadiaGard several times a day to the affected areas.

My throat is feeling better.  Not quite so sore.  My voice has turned gravelly.  I have always wanted one of those great, deep, resonant, booming broadcasting voices, and now, I almost have one.  My lungs are pretty trashed, though.  I have tried to continue running and exercise, but it is getting increasingly difficult.  I don't feel like I can get enough air into my lungs.  Doc says not to push it, so I don't.  I stop and walk when I get short of breath. 

These issues will subside in time.  Others will not.  I have permanently lost the hair under my left armpit.  That is really not a big loss.  I will look a little funny when I raise both arms at the beach, with one hairy pit, and one hairless one, but who cares?  Who really wants to think about it?  Okay, moving on.  

I have also permanently lost hair on the back of my neck.  So, when I get really scared from now on, there will be no hair on the back of my neck to stand up.  But seriously, the loss of hair extends to my hairline, so I will have a little bald patch there.  Doc says I can grow my hair a little longer back there and it won't be noticeable. I have also permanently lost hair on the left side of my throat, all the way up to my chin.  I'll never be able to grow a full beard.  But I never really wanted to anyway.  Again, not a big loss.  Meantime, the rest of my facial hair is growing in freakishly thick.  I have to shave my cheeks now.  And my cheekbones!  My eyebrows have quickly grown big and bushy.  Can you say manscaping?  I need a full facial wax.

My hair continues to fill in a strange mix of blonde, gray, and brown (I call it taupe).  Some people pay big money to get frosted tips like the ones I have acquired.  All I had to do is get my DNA scrambled a bit. 

 

Saturday night I reconnected with a lot of old friends at the Skoochie's Resurrection party, which was held inside the building that once housed Skoochie's, a somewhat infamous underage dance club that shut down in 1986.  I spent more time there than I care to admit in the mid-80's, and formed some of my fondest friendships during that time.   It was a surreal experience to be inside that building once again, dancing to the music of our youth, with all of those fantastic people that I have so much affection for.

At a certain point Saturday night, I was dancing to the horrific Wham Rap  (It makes me cringe to think I actually knew all the words to that song at one point in my life).  But at the end of the song, George Michael's closing refrain actually gave me pause.  A phrase, repeated, over and over:

Enjoy what you do
Enjoy what you do
Enjoy what you do
Enjoy what you do

I turned to my dear friend and said, "That's it. They nailed it on the head!"  I mean, who would have ever thought that Wham! would have distilled the secret of life so perfectly. 

I was overwhelmed at times that night by the flood of memories.  I was reminded of what's really important in this life.  The people, and the moments.  Relish them. 

Enjoy what you do.