billwixey.com

I had an interesting weekend.  I walked into work on Saturday, and was told by Melissa, our plucky assignment editor that some graphic artists had gotten a hold of a steamroller and were crushing things on the streets of downtown Seattle.  It's called a 'Wayzgoose" and it's a long-standing printing tradition, dating back from the 18th century, in which printers would celebrate the end of printing season by throwing things into the streets and smashing them.  Apparently it has evolved into steamrolling things in the streets of Seattle and calling it art.  One of the things they decided to crush was me. 

                                                                             

This is a quick screen grab of the figurine that these folks had created in my likeness.  My kids thought it was really funny that it had hair on it.  A lot of hair on it.  I thought it was actually a pretty good likeness of my pre-chemo hairline.  Maybe I should go on the air with a clay toupee.  Would that fly, do you think? 

So, they plop this thing down on Dexter Avenue, and let the steamroller loose. 

                                                                                
OHHH NOOO! MR. BILL!  I never stood a chance.  I look very much like Jerry Garcia, don't I? 

When asked why they chose to crush me, Larry Asher, the graphic artist in charge of the thing said--and I quote--"We hope he doesn't take it personally, because we adore him.  But we have a steamroller and want to crush things.  So, why not crush Bill Wixey?"

Fortunately, he's an award-winning graphic artist.  If that guy taught high school logic, this would be a really screwed up country.  They apparently understood what I have been going through recently.  As one guy was attempting to scoop my flattened, lifeless carcass from the pavement and into a Top Pot Doughnuts box, he said, "This makes chemotherapy look like something you'd want to have."
 
I was a little dumbfounded why they decided to crush me.  I didn't know if I should be frightened or flattered by being flattened.  But, my 9-year old son, Will, provided some amazing perspective in a softly-spoken, off-the-cuff comment that  I almost missed  completely.  It took a few moments for it to register.  I grabbed a Sharpie, and wrote Will's words on the Top Pot Doughnuts box that contains my entrails so I wouldn't forget it.  Will said:

"I think that was your old self, and it had cancer, but it got smashed and now it's gone!"

Will just walked off, chuckling.



Our Buhner buzz cut event at the Everett Aquasox game on Sunday August 30th, was a huge success.  More than 50 people came out and got a buzz.  The good folks at Elle Marie Hair Studio did the buzzing.  At ten dollars a buzz, we raised more than $500 for the Walk for Wixey team at the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Light the Night walk on September 26th.  We'll walk 2.8 miles around Green Lake with lighted red and white balloons in honor of folks who are fighting blood cancers.  We are now halfway toward reaching our team goal of $5,000 raised.  Join my team by clicking here.
   
                                                                    
Mariners Legend Jay Buhner could not have been cooler.  He came out and shook hands, signed autographs, posed for pictures, and really made the day.  This is Jay and I with 13-year old Julian Larsen of Redmond (above), who has been in remission from leukemia since January (!).  He's a great kid.  He threw out the first pitch at the ballgame, and fired a perfect strike from Major League distance.  The kid has a future. 

                                                   

Jay says he first got his head shaved by Mariner pitcher Chris Bosio in 1992.  He didn't have a whole lot of hair to lose to begin with, he says, and he liked the feel, so he kept it shaved from then on.  It became a trademark.  He says he then cultivated the goatee to goose the intimidation factor.  I think it worked.  He became a folk hero around here.  Before it was Area 51, that real estate in right field at Safeco Field was a bone-waving freakshow called the Boneyard.       
                                     
I'll never forget watching game 5 of the 1995 American League Divisional Series between the Mariners and the Yankees at the Kingdome in 1995.  I was working in Arkansas at the time, but was jumping out of my skin, that my Mariners were actually playing on national TV in a game that actually meant something!  Jay comes striding to the plate, the goatee protruding, a chaw confidently bulging from his cheek.  The legendary Brent Mussberger was calling the game for ABC that night.  He said, "Here comes Jay Buhner to the plate...looking like a Russian sailor, walking down the streets of Kiev."  Mussberger didn't work baseball much after that.

Jay cut a pretty imposing figure on the field.  Bone averaged 34 home runs a season over 15 years and cranked 310 bombs in his career.  He had three of the most prolific offensive seasons in Mariner history.  Check his numbers in 95-97.  They are sick.  When the conversation comes up, as it just did in my mind:  Who makes up the starting three in the All-time Mariner outfield?  The first two are blatantly obvious.  But who makes up the third outfield position on that All-time roster?  It's clearly Bone.  I don't even think there's a debate here.  Who else do you go with?  Mike Kingery?  Jose Cruz, Jr.?  Richie Zisk?  Ruppert Jones?  Tom Paciorek?  Greg Briley?  Willie Horton? Bruce Bochte?  It's a no brainer.  The Mariners' All-time starting three in the outfield: Junior, Ichiro and Bone.  I'd go to war with those guys against anybody.

Jay says he saves his head every other day.  I do the same thing.  He uses a headblade sometimes.  I'm strictly hand-held.  He gave me some props for getting some sun on the dome.  When I first shaved my head, I had the cueball look.  Kind of like Marge here. She is a cancer survivor, and the very first one to jump in the chair and get her head shaved on Sunday. 

  

Jay and I both signed her bald head.

   


Some bold hair choices were being made.  My daughter Gigi got pink hair extensions to support the Mary Kay Foundation, which does great work to combat women's cancers.  They were the main focus of The AquaSox first annual "Pink at the Park" event, which was a huge success. Jeff "The Fish" Aaron from KRKO radio was one of the first to come out and get buzzed.  Thanks to Jeff, and to everyone that came out.  It was a lot of fun, and we hope to do it again. 

I hope you can skip out of work on Wednesday and come to the Mariners game. They're playing the first-place Angels.  It's a 3:40 start.  I'm throwing out the first pitch.  It's quite an honor.  It is "Strike Out Leukemia and Lymphoma" day.  A portion of every ticket sold will go toward the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.