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If I could offer just one bit of advice for you the next time you visit Hawaii, it would be this: avoid the Hawaiian Barbecue.



Seriously.

This is what they call A Lau Lau plate.  Lau Lau is Hawaiian for "Nausea".  At Kenny's Hawaiian Barbecue, they call it "The Hawaiian Plate".  Catherine and I each ordered one.  Kenny just stared back at us, as if to say, "No, Howlie, you really don't want any part of this."

And he was right.  After we picked at this thing for a while, he told us that we're supposed to eat the whole thing, including that digusting-looking seaweed wrap thing.  Apparently, it's actually a taro leaf, with pork wrapped inside. But why is it green and gooey?
 
What do you think, we just got here from The Stupid Factory or something?



Never mind.

Aside from the Lau Lau plate, Hawaii is medicinal. 

Catherine and I took a short, but much needed break this week.  We headed to Honolulu for a few days, and transformed into annoying tourists.  One day, we hiked 9 miles from our hotel to the top of the Diamond Head crater and back.

The glorious Hawaii sunshine gave me a great opportunity to get a little color on the chrome dome.  



Catherine and I removed our oxygen masks just long enough to snap this photo at the summit of 76,000 foot Diamond Head. I may be a little off on the altitude.



It was a pretty simple hike to the top.  Took about 30 minutes.



Honolulu and Waikiki Beach from the top of Diamond Head. 

The next day, we went to Hanauma Bay to do a little snorkeling.  As we passed Waikiki, the cab driver said, "Oooh.  A Rainbow. Take a picture. I've never seen that before."

"Really?" I asked, while snapping this picture.



"How long have you been here?" I asked, trying to gauge the rarity of this occurence.

Quickly realizing that he had two extremely dense and naive passengers with him, the gregarious cabbie quickly switched subjects. "Hey, have you guys ever been to Japan?" The cabbie began to regale us with a slide show and stories of his recent travels to Tokyo.  He then launched into a sales pitch for various hotels in the greater Tokyo region. He handed Catherine a sheet of paper and a pencil, and started dictating phrases, hotels and prices.

We escaped from the cab, and headed for the entrance of Hanauma Bay, which is one of the most beautiful places on the planet. 



Hanauma Bay features some of the best snorkeling in the world.  Turtles, eels and hundreds of varieties of fish hang out in the coral reef.  I didn't see much of anything except other people. I kept bumping into them.

On the beach, it's a Corona commercial, except for all the people.  And the lack of Corona (Alcohol is not allowed).  There were long lines to get in.  Once you finally get to the beach, it wasn't overcrowded, but I kept finding myself wondering what it must have been like here before the world discovered it.   

They force you to endure an 8-minute movie about the the bay before they allow you on the beach.  It was one of the most delightful mandatory viewing experiences I've ever had.  The movie discusses the ecology of the beach, and how the state is trying to conserve it.  The bay is closed to the public on Tuesdays.  I wonder who gets to hang out there on Tuesdays.  

The Japanese Emperor and Empress were in town during our visit.  I didn't even know Japan still had an Emperor.  They were having a huge bash at Hilton Hawaiian Village, so traffic was really backed up around Waikiki. Our cab driver was a Japanese man in his 60's who has lived in Honolulu since the 1970's, his English broken, with a strong Japanese accent.  He noted the Emperor's itinerary had one major omission. 

"You notice he not going to Pearl Harbor. HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

While we were stuck in traffic, he told us a bit about Japan's history in Honolulu. 

"In the 1980's, when the economy here very bad, Japanese companies come here and buy lots of waterfront property.  They try to buy Pearl Harbor. HAHAHAHAHA! There was cartoon in the paper, of Pearl Harbor and a little Japanese flag sticking up. HAHAHAHAHA!  Funniest cartoon I ever saw.  Pearl Harbor.  Little flag. HAHAHAHAHA!"

That night, we saw the second rainbow of the day over Waikiki. 



It probably should have dawned on me that the University of Hawaii's mascot is the Rainbow Warrior.  In Honolulu, rainbows are about as common as ABC Stores.

Good trip, though.  And I'm serious about the Lau Lau.  Best to avoid.